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To Plump,

Seeing or hearing about you conjures thoughts of fruits; oranges, and the like although the last time i saw you, and juicy, you were used to describe pork. Well seeing as i don’t fancy pork, i decided to write you. How’s juicy?? I heard he’s been quite lazy lately and likes lying in a lot so we haven’t seen him for a while now. Anyways, speaking on behalf of all who like ‘plump and juicy’ things, i beg you to drag him along wherever you go and don’t mind his protests, they’re fake.

I would appreciate your replying and please include your new address so i’d be sure future letters arrive safely.